This may seem really random, but I really feel led to share some things right now.
I know some of y’all aren’t ‘here’ for what I’m about to say, but I God told me to say it, so I will be obedient.
This morning at church, I became SO overwhelmed with the GOODNESS of God. I was moved to tears at the knowledge of what He’s done for me.
I am grateful that even IN THE MIDST of my storm/circumstances/trials, I am able to praise HIM.
As few as six years ago, I would BEG God to take my life. I felt hopeless and worthless and like the biggest screw-up ever.
I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and in the past it was coupled with Depression. Things that some would see as ‘life’ would derail me.
I didn’t know how to cope with stress and FEAR ruled my life. I was literally PARALYZED by fear all of the time about EVERYTHING.
II Timothy 1 tells us that God has NOT given us a spirit of fear…but of a sound mind. I DID NOT have a sound mind. My mind was my worst enemy…
I grew up in the church, so people would tell me things I already knew, about the goodness of God, but it wasn’t sinking in. I knew that SOME DAY in the far and distant future (Jeremiah 29:11) things would eventually, probably be alright, but I couldn’t hold out for that.
I would try to speak affirmations over myself, but I didn’t really believe them, so that fell flat.
I was motivated to nothing, but have a pity party for myself and invite everyone that I knew to join.
For years, I took matters into my own hands and for years, my efforts fell flat…
UNTIL…I gave it ALL over to HIM. Everything that had me stressed and wanting to die, I gave to HIM.
And guess what? He took it. I was carrying things that He NEVER intended me to carry. (Matthew 11) His yoke is EASY and His burdens LIGHT.
Of course, all of this letting go stuff wasn’t easy. It was a process because I wanted to pick my burdens back up after I laid them down.
BUT about a year and a half ago, after 32 years of fighting, I FINALLY fully SURRENDERED to HIM.
Since that time, I have seen MIRACLES. REAL LIFE MIRACLES in my life.
As soon as I let it go and surrendered to Him and His ways, HE WORKED IT ALL OUT!!!
I have seen him make doorways through the concrete for ME to pass safely through. His FAVOR is upon me.
He wants this for all of us – His children, but the choice is ours to accept.
That overwhelming, paralyzing fear I used to have at ALL times? GONE
My anxiety over day-to-day living? GONE My needs? MET
I TRUST HIM!!!!
I thanked Him today for revealing Himself to me. I SEE HIM and am SO in love.
Where I used to cry for hours, days on end in sorrow, I am now crying, rejoicing, praising HIM for His GOODNESS.
Where I used to BEG Him to take my life, I PRAISE Him for sparing it. I HAVE PURPOSE.
Last weekend, I had at least 4 health care professionals looking at me in astonishment because I SHOULD NOT BE HERE they said. YOU WALKED IN HERE LIKE THIS???
They couldn’t believe it. BUT GOD spared me. I HAVE A PURPOSE.
YOU HAVE A PURPOSE.
You are running around chasing emptiness/nothingness. You will NEVER be truly fulfilled until you surrender to HIM.
The choice is yours. So glad I made the right decision. I can NEVER go back. Now that I SEE Him, I CAN NEVER GO BACK!!!
Instead of taking my life, He spared it. HE HEALED MY MIND!!! I cannot express how grateful I am for that.
HE HEALED MY MIND!!!!!!!
No meds. JESUS!
FULLY SURRENDER. Let go of whatever it is that is keeping you from HIM.
It’s hard because for whatever reason, we feel inclined to hold onto our crap. I was holding on to so much garbage, but IT WASN’T WORTH IT.
JESUS is waiting. He wants you. He loves you. He accepts you. EXACTLY how you are.